The End is Near...

Another decade has passed. At this time 10 years ago, I was pregnant and in escrow for a home I did not purchase. At the time, I told myself I would get another one when I returned to work after I had the baby. Well the baby is now a pre-tween and I still do not own a home. But that is not what this post is about. This post is about time. Time is the one thing we all waste but we cannot not get back. It does not have a price but it is very costly when wasted. This morning I shared with a girlfriend, without the birth of my daughter what have I done with the last 10 years? When you say 10 years it sounds like a long time ago, but I promise I can see myself sitting on the patio at Fridays six months pregnant watching Laker games. Well now that I think about it, I did get married.....something I always wanted to do.Plus a whole plethora of other things. Okay, maybe I am being too hard on myself.

In ten years, I will be 5 days from 50! If the next ten years go bye like the last ten, I had better start planning my 50th birthday party now! LOL Entering into the third quarter of my life has me feeling excited about the future. I have started my own business and although I have had ups and downs I know this is the direction that is best for me.With hard work and determination I will achieve me goals.

So much has changed over the last decade. I have lost loved ones and I have developed new friendships and relationships. I have gone from a "party girl" to a middle-aged woman. I stop traveling across the country now I taxi my daughter and friends around town. My best friend doesn't call me anymore but she does remember me when I go see her. I miss her calls and nagging but most of all I miss her love and support. I could have never imagined my mom could change so drastically in such a short period of time. I am grateful for my mother and all she has given me. She has been everything I needed as a parent and if I give that to Brooklynn then I have done my job.God has given me many blessing in my 39 years, 360 days I cannot begin to name them all but, wisdom, courage, health, love, friends, family, foes, adversity, challenges, triumphs and failures have all molded me into the woman I am today. I may not be all that I am going to be but I more than I was and not quite what I will be soon!

If you are reading this there is a great chance that I have touched your life in some way and I am sure you have touched mine. Sometimes my husband tells me I care too much, I cannot help it I am a 9 that's what we do in Life cycle nine care for people.(I know some people are confused)  Thank you for laughing with me, talking with me, arguing with me, fighting with me, partying with me, drinking with me, praying with me, traveling with me and living with me. These last 39 years have been a blast and I cannot wait to see what is on the other side of 29. I have to let you go 29 and become a FABULOUS 40 YEAR OLD!

AS ALWAYS...PROCEED WITH CAUTION
PROJECT72 ALMOST COMPLETE

The Real Black on Black Crime is not Illegal!

After watching another informative YouTube video http://youtu.be/2ctxwP9R_sg Maafa21 I learned a great deal about something I know very little about Eugenics. (Google it because it's very detailed.) I remember when I was a little girl and all the Black radio stations used to advertise HER medical clinic which offered low cost or free tubal ligation. Of course as a ten year old I had no idea that this was a form of sterilization but I do remember conversations regarding the "slaughter house" and how it was placed in the Black community to "get rid of  us". The sad thing is I never knew that not only could this be true, but that me and many of my friends and family members had been a part of the genocide of our own race. We have been taught that we have a right to choose, but we had no clue that the choice had been set to a jingle and been placed in our faces to be an easy way to get out of a mistake. Well after the third time it really isn't a mistake. More like a reckless behavior that has caused irreversible damage to a community and a nation. Yes, it seems the United States government has been sponsoring the genocide of the Black race and we have been voting for it! You wonder why you don't see a lot of blacks at the grocery store or on the local  playground? They didn't make it. I know this is disturbing and it's disturbing to write but I feel compelled to say this, WE NEED TO STOP TELLING YOUNG GIRLS TO HAVE ABORTIONS! POWER IN NUMBERS IS REAL! Drive down any major street east of Normandie and notice all the newly built schools. You know why they are there? Because they are filled children, thousands of them and they AIN'T BLACK! Between abortions, HIV, the crack cocaine epidemic, the prosecutions and unfare sentencing of Black males who are incarcerated our race is nearly extinct. In 50 years we will be like Native Americans living on reservations. People will say, there used to be a lot of African-Americans but they killed each other off. The old people used to say, "and don't have a bunch of babies!" I didn't listen to much of their advice but I did listen to that one piece.

I find myself middle-aged and realize that was a bad idea. I should have had more children. I am a good mother and have a great deal of love to share and life lessons to teach. My mom had three kids and at my age she was doing much better than I am today. Less children doesn't seem to have anyone in a better financial or personal situation. The economic down turn has hit single people just as hard as married people with children.

African-Americans need to wake up, we are teaching our children the wrong things.And mainstream media is assisting in doing more damage with misogynistic music and negative television personalities.We need more unity. We need to love one another, respect one another, honor one another, support one another and teach one another. The world as we know it is coming apart by the strings and it is time to get together and realize that ever since the first slave ship landed we have been a problem for this country.And they have been attempting to show the world we deserved the mistreatment.  The US Government has done all sorts of atrocities to us and have taught us to now do it to ourselves. The top 1% have always seen the slaves and their descendants as an end to justify their means. Now that they play on the global market we really aren't necessary, seems as if they are attempting to starve us out. But we have a secret weapon, we could always....STOP supporting them. Black on Black crime needs to stop and we are the only ones who can stop it!

Proceed with Caution!

Y.D.C.

Reality TV, We Love it! We Hate it! But We Watch it!

After the re-broadcast of Basketball Wives season 4 reunion show, I posted a comment regarding the lack of reality on the show. I also mentioned a rumor about the show. I personally did not spread the rumor at first but by the next day I had over forty comments regarding the show. I have a business and post beautiful items I am selling and I get zero comments? *confused* any who....my point is people are interested in the media known as reality television. I remember how my mother loved the Young and the Restless, she would talk about Victor Newman as if he were her friend....he was a fictional character who won her heart and many hours of her life and mine, cause wasn't nothing stopping her from watching the Y&R. Now thirty years later we have the new soaps, Reality TV dramas. And boy is there drama. No matter which is your favorite they all offer the same dishes: jealously, envy, conceit, loud women, gay men, money, luxury brands and plenty of bragging. Throw in some he said/she said and you have the recipe for a successful reality show. The funny thing is, no matter how immature, silly, ignorant, or down right ratchet the characters are we tune in. Over 5 million viewers have been watching BBW's. The advertisers are making millions and I am sure VH1 is not doing bad either. Wasn't VH1 a music channel? Do they even have any music programming? I thought it was bad when MTV, VH1 and video Juke Box played videos all day. This is much worse. I am a middle aged woman and I know these shows are not real. I know the producers spin the shows to make people believe certain characters are a certain way, but with Twitter, blogs, Instagram and all the other 24 hr a day media cycles we cannot seem to get away from the foolishness. It saddens me to see so many of our young people being fooled into believing this is reality. In reality most of the people on these shows are miserable and lonely. If the BBW's had husbands they would be trying to keep their families together not tear down relationships. Glorifying designer bags, designer clothes, luxury cars and way too much make-up is destroying many young ladies. I know these ladies are doing more than arguing over who does not like who, why are they spinning these shows to be so shallow? What is the hidden agenda in the media's attempt to make us all hate one another? Where is the love? On the first reality based shows like Wild World of Sports and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous the audience was only shown the best side of sports figures and celebrities. But when shows like Cops and Inside Edition started telling "all" everything went hay-wire. I was looking for something new from BBW's I wanted to see the lifestyle....TRIPS, SHOPPING, BIRTHDAY PARTIES, COOK-OUTS.  I was interested in how they really lived. Unfortunately this never happened. Yes, I do watch reality TV but I don't like it!

Where Do We Go from Here?

Los Angeles, CA is one of the largest cities in the world. Los Angeles is supposed to be one of the world's meccas for nightlife and non-stop fun. Unfortunately if you are Black and over the age of 35 there are very few opportunities to do so.Clubs in Hollywood are too young, most of the bowling alleys and local bars are either for senior citizens or are so crowded you cannot even find a seat. Where can a middle aged person go to have a drink, hear some music or have a great debate with cool men and women about life, politics, religion or what we love to debate about: Men vs.Women. Staying home is boring. How much reality TV can one watch? How many times can you yell at Kobe without him listening? How many more seasons of American Idol and DWTS can one take with regurgitating on the couch? Our city is desperate need of a urban hangout suite. A place where people can come together without the riff-raft ruining it. We need a Cheers... as place where everybody knows your name and is always glad you came. Or maybe Eddie Murphy can open Ray's Boom-Boom room. I am so tired of having nothing to do. I don't want to go to the movies. I am tired of the same three places that will remain nameless... I wonder if other cities are in the dire straits Los Angeles is in? I remember traveling to Chicago every other week and enjoying Rush Street and enjoying the plethora of bars, lounges, clubs and restaurants. Where is our Rush Street? What happened to the 1970's and 1980's when Crenshaw Blvd. had bars and restaurants left and right? Why is our community so disenfranchised? When are the leaders going to realize we need more than fast food, churches, nail shops and liquor stores in our community. Personally I'm tired of the way things are and I am going to start mobilizing and begin taking action. Something must be done! I am starting a movement! Bring Black LA back to life! We are more than people who drive long distances to spend our money and get treated poorly when we get there! Not sure what I am going to do but this is something that has been on my mind.


PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

If you find something to do.... call me :)  

Rebuttal to 10 Reasons MEN WON'T DATE YOU!

10 Reasons Men Won't Date You LOL

This is a rebuttal to the post I just read and copied. I feel you on some of the points but many of the points are just excuses. If a real woman, encounters a real man, 75% of everything on your list would be void. We all have a past, but we do not have to keep re-living our past. Depending on a person's age, financial status, demographics, educational background, family size and social personality for lack of a better word, these usually dictate where they go and who they know. Just because a woman stays home does not mean she would make a good mate for a man. Some women stay home and sleep with all their friends men while they are out a parties. Some women stay home and smoke weed while their children sleep in the other room. Some women stay home and don't cook, clean, or pay their bills. Some women only go to church activities and are sleeping with all the deacons and choir members. Of course I am only saying this to show that these generalizations you made are just that. I will only speak for myself because at times in my life I have been similar to the women you described and I have always had plenty of dates!

1. Nosy: Information is they key to any decision. Men who do not want to give out information are hiding things. Like their true marital status, true number of kids (even the ones you don't claim), their real address, (not sister/momma house), where they really work (no where) and real car (not the motorcycle) the 1996 Camry. Women over 35 have no time to relax,relate and release. Women are trying to find a mate. The clock is ticking and they need someone to come help pay their mortgage so they can buy some income property!
2. Male Friends: I cannot understand why Black men cannot be platonic. I have MANY friends who I have slept with and MANY friends I have NOT slept with but one thing is for sure, If I say I am not sleeping with someone I am not. I cannot be tricked out of my P! So keeping male friends is good because men are honest with us when we need advice. Girlfriends say what we want to hear. STOP BEING SO INSECURE AND SCARED SOMEONE IS GOING TO SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT, WE ALREADY DO!
3. FAMILY:  A woman who is close to her family will be close to you if you become her family, until then you don't have priority over my family!
4. CLUB RAT: I love this one! Single, pretty, no kids, warm weather, good job, nice car, nice clothes, nice house, hard worker....yeah she going out! Cause MR. Right nor Mr. Wrong is going to knock on HER door. Back in the day, everyone went out to parties on Friday and Saturday night. THEN: Men went with Women! Now we have to go alone, but that is no problem. As long as the Patron and Goose are flowing and BEBE still has fly clothes and shoes women will be out in droves! BUT PLEASE BELIEVE: IF THEY HAD A MAN TO BE AT THE LUX WITH THEY WOULD! NO WOMAN WOULD CHOOSE THE CLUB OVER HER MAN!
5. NICE THUGS DO EXIST! Just like nice hoes exist. I know many men who have the best of both worlds. No woman whats to be with a whimp. No we don't want our ass kicked but we have to know you can and will protect us. PROVIDE and PROTECT! I can cook my ass off, fight like a boxer, dress like Halle Berry, sit down and talk to Donald Trump and Pierce Morgan plus blow ya mind so don't tell me what don't exist!
6. HE TREATED ME BADLY? WOW...U ain't him! You are not in my head like that and I won't let that happen again. If you a nice guy, why were u late three times? Cause you didn't give a fuck...I bet u would not be late to get your homeboy? But you want her to be silent and let you decide what you want to do...NOT this new generation really don't care if you won't date them cause they will date each other....they kicking men out the car, for-real....
7. DUTCH? Where they do that? If you are attempting to date a woman and you cannot not afford dating you should wait. The first year is dates that you pay for....once we are a couple, I cook, you eat...I pay for the food! I suggest we go to Palm Springs...I pay! It's your Birthday, I take you to Tahoe....I pay! If I knew you for less than 90 days my wallet does not open! GOT IT? GOOD
8. Jocks...sounds redundant! no comment and sounds a little haterish!
9. Arguments: I agree on this one! We do need to stop with the yelling! I don't do it. But I have a husband so I guess none of this applies to me anyway. I have been single and I understand what its like to be looking for the right address when none of the buildings are numbered!
10. I deleted one because it was about Facebook stalking and I know damn well no self respecting middle-aged woman would do something so immature!

I am Mrs. Yolanda Davidson-Carter and I approve this message

Proceed With Caution!

What the Hell is Wrong with People?

 
  Every morning I awake to the morning news and most of the time it is shocking. Headlines read: Students shoots classmates, unknown causalities. Mother kills children. Husband kills wife and children. Soldier kills innocent children and civilians and burns them. 5 killed in car crash. I could go on but what is the point? Stress and despair invade people's mind and has them believing that all of this is real and matters. Bills and material things are not what matter in life. What you drive, where you live, where you work and who you are paired up with have no real bearing on your life. Your relationship with God is all that matters! All the things we have are just fillers to keep the mind occupied but these things are not important. We have let society tell us, we need to have 2.5 kids, a home, a career, an education and a 401k plan. Women are under pressure to be 10 million things that have very little to do with womanhood. Be thin, be rich, be a housewife, be a mother, be submissive, be assertive, be independent, be nice, be quiet, NO JUST BE! Young people are literally killing themselves because they do not have what they think they should have. Men are under pressure too. Men are supposed to provide, protect, and produce. Society wants them to be tough, but sensitive, assertive but nice, generous but not a push over. Men are expected to settle down and have a family all the while other women are throwing themselves at them at all times. They have to be strong and not show emotion. But when they show no emotion they are accused of being cold. Life has me so confused I could scream.

  The time has come to get back to where we started from. I grew up with two God fearing parents who taught me morals, values, and overall self-esteem. I have noticed many people lack these qualities. If you have morals there are certain things you will not do. If core values are instilled, you will think before you portray unethical behavior that may ruin your life. When a person has self-esteem they value themselves as well as others. I challenge all who read this post to make a conscious effort to do better. As a society we have to do better, we are becoming the "they" we talk about. The rude, self-centered, crazy, ignorant, selfish, lying, stealing, killing people we read about it in Tweets and Facebook posts. The fools we see on the news at night are us. The only way things can change is if we change. We are the people arguing over dumb shit and making enemies for nothing. We all need to check ourselves and come together because "we are all we got!"
PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

I Still Miss Him...

As my niece, Tiffany and my nephew, Frandon celebrate milestone birthdays I am reminded of another important date, the death of my father. Finniel Davidson died on his favorite grandson's birthday. January 8th, 1988, I was fifteen years old and had no clue what death is, an infinite closed door that can never be opened. I miss him more now than I did as a child. He was very strict and had very high expectations of me which I had no desire to live up to. I could have never stayed on his pedestal so God let me off the hook. He took him so he wouldn't have to witness my growing pains and terrible decisions. He was saved from watching me party my youth away, without ever considering a day like today. As I enter the third quarter of my life, I realize that if I only live as long as my father, I have 17 years left, that is like 17 days. Reading the posts on FB lately hell it might be less than 17 years. (I'm getting side tracked)

  My father was many things. He was raised in the deep south in the 1930's times were extremely hard. He never talked about his pass, but I know enough about history to know that a mixed raced family in the rural south had a hard way to go. He escaped the south and drove to California with his sister in the 1960's. He found love in 1970 and married my mom two months later. Within 17 years he was dead. He had very little education but managed to take care of his family, own his own business, drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. Family was everything to him. If me and my mom were happy, then the world was perfect. I feel sad for women who have never had the adoration of their father. It builds an esteem in you that no man can ever destroy. My dad instilled this arrogance and attitude in me. He told me daily how smart and beautiful I am. I know at times it has been to a fault but I am a better woman for it. The lessons my father taught me angered me as a child. Grabbing switches from a tree to get a whipping would be labeled abuse today but then it was a deterrent from getting in trouble. He taught me my first timetable 6X6=36, he taught me to plant food, he showed me the type of man I wanted and the type I did not want, he taught me how to make pancakes, and he showed me how to make it happen. He had so many sayings, of course I didn't understand then but I do now. I know that his death saved me, I know he has been my guardian angel for all these years. I have been places I had no business, I have seen things I should not have seen and I am still standing. I just wish he could be here to see the woman I am. Sometimes the day passes without me really thinking of it but this year is different. I miss him so much today. I wish he could see my baby, she doesn't have the grandfather experience, I didn't have it either. There are so many questions I didn't ask him, so many things I would tell him......the main thing I want to say is, THANK YOU, DADDY  LOVE YOU! ALL DAYS ALL WAYS

We All Have to Die, but Why?

John Atterberry has broken my silence. My close friends and family know how passionate I am about the people I care for.The tragic and senseless murder of a man I have known well over twenty years, has me angry,confused and hurt. John Atterberry from all accounts was a handsome, intelligent, driven, successful man with a great deal of life to live; when a hopeless and weak young man decided he could not go on with his life destroyed John's life. John proved to himself and his peers that he could survive and strive to be the best. Although he had many personal hurdles he did not allow them to change who he was. He was always jovial. I cannot remember him in a bad mood or without a smile on his face. At times he would get on my nerves playing so much when we were kids. But as a man I was more than impressed with the man he developed into. This is not my eulogy of John, I am getting to a point, sorry. I have mentioned my anger regarding my friends death. I am hurt...not because I do not realize none of us are here permanently, but because I wanted to watch him shine! When people die, they leave us here. They go off to a new adventure and leave us here to pick up the pieces they leave behind. When he rushed out, his bed may not have been made, or his dishes were in the sink someone put them away. He may have working on a project that needs his approval or maybe he started a script. Now all those things cannot be completed by him. Tragedy strikes without rhyme or reason, we can only react after he strikes. Prayer and forgiveness are always on the list of things to do, but we all prayed but none of us received the answer we wanted. God knows best, but it's days like this when my faith is truly tested. This feels like a mistake, what possible good could come from such a senseless and devastating act of cowardice?

Unlike John, the shooter did not have hundreds if not thousands of people who loved and respected him. He had not lived long enough to know that the girl was the first in a long list of people who don't want you when your young but catch the "vapors" when you get your shit together like John did. See the sad thing is when you are young you do a bunch of dumb shit you wish you could take back, but this dummy took my friend's life. Every time I loose someone a piece of me goes with them, a laugh I will never share again or a hug from an old friend. John you are not the first but you are the latest on my list of loved ones I wish could have stayed a little while longer. R.I.P JOHN ATTERBERRY 6/11/71-12/11/11

Hate on You? Who Are You?

  Hater...I am so tired of the noun. Hate is such a strong word and takes so much pain staking energy to muster up. In this new Hip Hop generation the term is used by people who most of us do not acknowledge, let alone have time hate. I hear children saying it. I hear teenagers saying it. Girls with no jobs, education or financial status are saying people are haters. I hear guys who live with their parents and they have children saying people are hating on them. I hear immature women who get paid to make a fool of them selves on fictitious reality television shows saying the other immature women are hating on them. I hear senior citizens using the term now. How far will this foolishness go? Rhetorical question of course, but for anyone who may think I personally am a hater because I tend to speak about things that annoy me or issues I feel need to be addressed let me assure I have no time, energy or desire to hate on you. Who are you? If you have time to stop and worry about who is saying what about you, you may not be using your time wisely. People who have their lives together are too busy keeping their life on track to sit up and tweet, Facebook update, beebo, email or call people to hate on  you. 

If you are wondering why I feel so passionately about this, I am a Twitter subscriber. I am attempting to promote my blog and get information on what is going on in the world. I follow all sorts of people. Most people I follow on twitter are positive. But a few of them are completely consumed with the people they perceive are hate them. I get so sick of the reteets and status updates on Facebook about haters. I may be wrong but most of the time people are just talking, they don't give a shit about you and what you have, what you drive, where you live or who you sleep with. It's just conversation that is a diversion from their lives and all the issues they have going on. I replied to a tweet that @EvelynLozada Basketball Wive posted about some girl @ShaniceH being a "Hater" below is a copy of my tweet.

YD_Reigns Y.D.Carter

@

@EvelynLozada @ochocinco @ShanieceH You kill me with Hater, expand your vocabulary like @Roycelr said last yr.#nooneishating

EvelynLozada Evelyn Lozada

Fuck u (is that better)? RT @YD_Reigns: @EvelynLozada @ochocinco @ShanieceH You kill me with Hater, expand your vocabulary

I think it is funny how just the mere mention of self improvement sent her over the edge. She doesn't know me but what if I were crazy and punched in the mouth if I saw her at the mall? I am an adult now and do not behave in that matter but if this were ten or fifteen years ago it would be my life's mission to show her how 78th street girls really get down. Thank God for deliverance from foolishness. The point of this post is to point out how petty we can be as humans and how we need to uplift instead of tear down. Now I would be lying if I said there was not personal ambition behind the tweet, she has over six hundred thousand followers and she mentioned me. This blog will get traffic and succeed. I am on another level right now like Outkast. As usual I am always willing to articulate what people think privately. Take it from a woman who has seen and done things that many people on dream of. The triumph in life comes from loving yourself, not loving what you have. $1000 shoes cannot take you down the right road. They only make someone else wealthy. A $250,000 car cannot drive you to your final destination.(Heaven or Hell) We need to unite and stop fighting! Love yourself and love someone else along the way. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

10 Things People Do to Ruin Their Lives

     Everyone has advice of what you should do for a happy life. I cannot tell you what you do to be happy, but I can tell you what to do if you want to ruin your life. 

1. Fall in love with the wrong person. People loose decades of their lives in dead end relationships, simply because the person they fell in love with was wrong for them.
2. Do not get an education. If you desire a life filled with mediocrity and financial ruin this is one of the best ways to assure you have it your way.
3. Sleep around with strangers. A reputation as a promiscuous woman will take a lifetime to live down and could cost you your life if you happen to sleep with a killer or someone who has a deadly disease and passes it you.
4. Have kids by multiple people. Having a baby every two or three years for ten years will reserve your seat in misery. Your ex's may be cool but your child support payments and interaction with four or five different people with visitation schedules, play dates, sports and school will have you exhausted. You will also have a difficult time finding a meaningful relationship with all your baggage.
5. Commit a felony. Jobs are scarce for job seekers with clean records. Imagine how difficult it would be if you had to mark yes by the box for: have you ever been convicted of a felony? 
6. Become an Addict. Drug and alcohol abuse are a wonderful way to ruin relationships, loose jobs, impair your judgment and steer you down the road to an early grave. You can join a long list of well known people as well anonymous John and Jane Does downtown in the morgue. 
7. Tell Lies and Cheat. Nothing spells looser like liar. When no one believes you, your integrity is null. Cheaters are right up there with liars and thieves!
8. Stay in one place. Moving around and exploring new places allows a person to broaden his or her horizons. The environment you feel most comfortable most likely will stagnate your personal development. If you live in a depressed or distressed community, by all means stay there and fester in misery.
9. Do not take your health seriously. Ignore the Surgeon General and the American Cancer Society and smoke cigarettes. Loose at least ten years of your life and look older than your peers. Over eat and become obese. Don't exercise or go the doctor for regular check ups. I guarantee you will suffer the consequences.
10. Do not cultivate a relationship with God. Your spirit is the most essential part of you. A life without God is not life it is death! 

     Life is not about where you have been. Life is about where you are going. 

Use the GPS and choose which direction you want to go and bookmark the locations to stay away from.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Are Television Evangelists the New Pimps?

  And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marveled at him. Mark 12:15
 This scripture is the one instance I remember when Jesus Christ spoke of a financial obligation. Salvation is free, the only requirement is belief. I am not a bible scholar, but I do know most of the time when the rich were mentioned in bible is not positive outcome. So can anyone explain to me why and how these self-proclaimed bishops are living in mansions, driving the most expensive cars in the world, traveling the world on G-5 jets, wearing tailored clothing and selling the word of God to people all of the world? How can one Shepherd look after 25,000 sheep? He can't. That's why although you may have attended a mega church for years, if you, your mother, your daughter or your dog dies; the "Bishop" ain't coming! He will most likely send a senior minister and a pre-typed resolution.
    Is there any proof Paul was selling his epistles to the first saints? Did Peter have a palace? I am asking myself these questions because in a time where Blacks have the highest unemployment rates in the country, the highest foreclosure rates, and the lowest wealth and education rates how are some other wealthiest ministers in the country Black? What are they doing for the poverty epidemic? Is anyone calling them to charge on the ultra exclusive lifestyles they live? How can Creflo Dollar, T.D. Jakes, Eddie Long, Kirby Caldwell, Charles E.Blake, and 45 other men be making as much as $400,000 annually to preach the word of God? Please do not think I am not a believer, I am. But I am also pragmatic and can see through this web of foolishness and deceit. Everyone who claims to be of the Lord is not. Do not be fooled there are many false prophets. I know this morning @ New Mt. Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church in Inglewood, the word of God was being preached and the spirit of the Lord was present. There was no VIP parking or entrance. No one mentioned paying for blessings and no one made me feel as if I were not included. 
   Los Angeles and Atlanta have some of the highest unemployment and foreclosure rates and we also have some of the largest mega churches. What are the churches doing with all the tithes and offerings? Can the mega church pastors cut back their lifestyles for the members of their flocks? If Eddie Long and Creflo Dollar can afford to fire up private jets at $30,000 one way, how many members of their congregations could they employee or educate? Not to mention that President Obama traveled on Eddie Long's jet throughout the primary season while running for president. (Wonder who paid for fuel?) Millions of dollars are flowing through black churches all over the country and although I see beautiful buildings what are the churches doing with all the money? How could Eddie Long afford a multi-million dollar settlement? I really do not understand why a pastor of God would need to drive a Ferrari or a Bentley Coupe. Especially if he doesn't have another job and members of his church may be catching the bus to church. Christians are supposed to be different. Flashy clothing, flashy cars and flashy jewelry are images of the world Satan rules so why would a man or woman of God want to appear to be of that world? No, I do not believe God wants us to be deprived and miserable, but greed and overindulgence are not an element of his plan. When you stand up and profess to be called by the Most High God you have a responsibility to win souls for Christ and lead by example. Living in a mansion in Bel-Air while many members of your congregation are being put out in the street is not the example the Lord set for his followers. I pray that my brothers and sisters in Christ can start to look past the celebrities, the choir, the marble floors and bright lights and see the church as God intended. The church is a free clinic for sick souls; there is no co-pay or hidden fees. Jesus paid it all!



 http://thechurchladyblogs.com/category/religious-blogs/

Click on the link for more info on the church... 

Proceed with Caution

Stop Blaming Others...

I always point the finger at someone. My husband did this. Or my brothers did not do that. My friend should have done such and such. Guess what, if I did everything I am supposed to do, I would not have time to worry about everything they did not do. Focusing on the negative gets me caught up in negativity and prohibits me from moving in a positive direction. Of course, I could complain all day but I choose to be grateful for positive aspects of my life. Having a supportive spouse is more important to me than the fact I can't get him to cook. Having two brothers who care about my family and assist me whenever they can, is more important than me harping on the things they do not do. I must admit I am a work in progress. There are days when I am on one and I get caught up in negative thoughts and have my pity party. On those days, I stay to myself and attempt to pray the negative thoughts away. Of course it is much easier to blame someone else. I'm not forced to look at all things that I am not doing right. God has me in the position to make a difference in my world. Sending out messages to my friends and family is important because I know we are all going through hell right now. Unfortunately for many of us, the hell we are going through we walked into on our own. Bad decisions and poor planning has us where we want to blame others when in fact we should be putting the blame where it belongs. Luckily for us we have an opportunity to change or current plight and move forward in God's grace. Accepting responsibility for yourself and your circumstance is the first step to changing direction and following the narrow road which leads to happiness. Take a look in the rear view mirror and remember where you have been, but don't look too long because you need to focus on where you are going

Proceed with Caution!

Yolanda, Headed for Success

You Think She is a Jump Off? So Are YOU!

My phone rang around 12:30a.m. I had just come from the Regal Beagle, I was drunk as hell. My car drove itself around the corner. Thank God she knew the way home. "Hello"..."Hey." "You up? "Yeah"..."Come around here." "Okay." So I jump my drunk ass back in the car and go over his house. "You thirsty?" "No"... "You hungry?" "No"... "Lay your ass down!" Music plays, you fill in the blanks. Okay... Damn it's 5a.m. I have to get home before BK wakes up! Do you know how many times I did this before I realized this is the dumbest shit ever? News Flash: A booty call means you ain't the one! Let me say this one more time ladies, a jump off, booty call, late night hype whatever you want to call it, You ain't the one!  Now, you may be saying, you don't care and you're just having fun; don't play a player or try to sell me this bullshit. I know the real. You sleeping with dude because you like it and him. Very few women can just slept with men with no strings attached.

Which one are you?

• Lonely- I really desire a man, unfortunately I don't have one. I'll take a piece of a man.(desperate)
• Competitive- So caught up in the competition I will tolerate almost any humiliation just to be the winner. ( last man standing)
• Hot Horny- sexually frustrated, when I do find someone who can bring it in bed. I cannot get enough.(repeat offender)

Whatever you're telling yourself to keep this foolishness going, you need to stop. Destructive behavior is why some women cannot find a serious relationship. Men don't have to wait for the prize. Women giving out the prize before the race in run! Trust me, I know because I was once a repeat offender. If you have been sleeping with a man for over a six months and he never takes you on dates, you never met his family or friends and he does not do anything for you......You ain't the one! Do yourself a favor, loose his number and date someone you may not be assexually attracted to. Sex complicates everything. Once you take sex out of the equation the problems are not as difficult solve.

Side note: If you are married or in a relationship and your man's ex-wife, baby momma or old jump off is still trippin', she isn't trippin'. He is sleeping with her! She isn't crazy, you are for believing him. Once again, do not shoot the messenger!

Proceed with Caution!

Are You Happy? You Should Be...

Happiness lives or dies our minds. If we think we are happy, then we are happy. If we think we are having a great time, we have a great time. Many times we try too hard to be sad. Focusing on the negative aspects of an issue only makes us feel worse, all we have to do is be still and recognize all the blessings we take for granted. Watching a television program about a young man in his early twenties with total paralysis from a high school football injury reminds me of the blessings I have. Like, having the opportunity I watch my child run and play. Hearing stories of women in prison for defending themselves against a violent spouse, reminds me of how blessed I am to have a spouse who honors and respects me. While we sit complaining about this or that remember this is just one moment in time and does not reflect your entire life. Decide to be happy. Whatever you are unhappy with, you have the ability to transform the situation. I thank God for sad days. Sad days afford me time to be still and think about what is important. Health, sanity and the ability to make my life whatever I desire it to be. I hope hold the key to my future. Waiting on someone else to make me happy is insane. Happiness is in my daughter's eyes. When she smiles at me and says, "I love you, Mommie!" I know she means it. I do not have time to be unhappy. I have a life to live. Don't you?

WILL THE REAL MEN STAND UP?

 Almost everywhere I go I see them. Pro-Clubs, I hate them. They scream, overweight and unemployed. Men are quick to criticize women with muffin tops but what about the kegs under those white tees. I remember when a man was considered a big dude if he wore a 2X. Now I think they may go as high as 6X and I don't know any women rockin' a 6X. As if the white tee wasn't bad enough, then they have to sag on top of it, I think I am getting sick... I miss the old days...the 1990's when men stayed suited and booted! The days when dress to impress meant, gator boots and suits; not fake True Religion jeans and a white t-shirt. And since I'm on the subject of fake; what the hell is going with all these men wearing costume jewelry? Who sanctioned this foolishness? I see guys walking around with huge CZ earrings and Michael Kors watches with crystals. WTF? I realize the money that was lying on the ground and lacing everyone's pockets and purses is not available. Back then I owed designer handbags and shoes too. Just because you can't afford a Rolex, you do not have to wear a Folex. Someone needs to draw a line in the sand and let the real men stand on one side and the fake ones stand on the other. Women are confused. Dudes walking around the club looking icy and can't even afford to take a lady on date! Stop the madness! Adult men should not wear women jeans, purses, costume jewelry or get their eye brows arched; unless they live an alternative lifestyle.

   I see so much confusion I have decided I’m getting old. When I was in my twenties, men took women on dates. A man would wine and dine you to get you in the mood, tell some lies about how he wanted to marry you and then drop the bomb on you. Now I hear of women not only taking men on dates, women are buying them motorcycles. If man is accepting financial assistance from you and he is not your man, he is hustling you, RUN!!! I was taught men are the protectors and providers. Women are the caregivers and nurturers. The practice of women chasing men is like the earth rotating the opposite direction. We are animals first. I cannot name a species where the female chases the male. Lionesses go out to hunt and bring lions food, but the male lion will protect his pride from any other animal in the jungle. The dog chases the cat not the other way around! We all need to get our shit together
Disclaimer: Real men disregard this post! If you know some fraudulent men please suggest they stand up. We need our men! Too many good women are single and need to help build strong families.Our boys are weak without men, women cannot do it alone!

Proceed with Caution!

I Should Have Written a Relationship book!

  Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey is now becoming a film for the big screen. Why? Most of the details in this book are common sense. Every woman over the age of thirty should know when a man is playing them. When a man really wants to be with you he does everything in his power to show you he wants to be with you. If you are still chasing a man after two years of dating, news flash; he is not fucking with you. Move on! I find it funny how the very men who give this advice to women want to get paid for the information. Steve Harvey would tell you for free, like your mother did if he were genuinely attempting to help. The messages are not new; they are just coming from a new source. The same people that have been cheating on their women and wives for years are now giving out healthy relationship advice for $19.99 plus shipping and handling. I've been thinking like a man for twenty years and you know where it got me?   Thinking I could date multiple men at a time and tell them lies, big mistake. I let some good men go playing too much. Men are not the smart ones, women are. The problem is we watch the news, listen to statistics that tell us there are no men. That is not true. All men are not gay, on drugs, or in prison. Maybe you should think about dating a younger man, or one who drives are car you don't like, or one who wears clothes that may not be in style. Our expectations of a man may be too high. Women want the knight in shinning armor, I say save you! Cinderella was white! You see the Princess and the Frog, she had to work for her prince and make the best gumbo. Work on you and once you have thrown all your old baggage away and killed your demons you will find the right person and you don't need Steve Harvey or Dr. Phil to tell you that because you already know.

This is a re-post and has been slightly updated when I heard the news Steve Harvey's first book is now in film production....Once again, I am confused!

Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business?

   As I mature, reality has shown me, I talk too much. I talk about people I don't know. I talk about people I do know. Friends develop the tendency to form opinions of what others should or should not do.What affords me the right to judge you? My life isn't together...but I will sit here and past judgment in a minute. I have just as many questionable decisions made as the next person but of course I never see what I need to do. But when my girlfriends get together and discuss me, I'm sure they have a plenty of suggestions, that they conveniently forget to share with me....thus like I said in the title...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! With the exception of maybe three or four people, everyone I know has plenty of room for personal improvement.
We could all use a bit of personal development:

•   Continuing Education- Americans are less educated than they were 20 years ago. With more televised programming and the internet, how many people read meaningful books that enrich their lives?

•   A Healthier Lifestyle-Obesity is alarming in the African-American community, I see women looking phenomenal, designer bags and shoes, but they are thirty to forty pounds over weight. Use the hour spent on B.S. to walk around your neighborhood!

•   Volunteer- So many people are unemployed, take this excellent opportunity to go to you local elementary school and donate an hour or two of your time. You will feel great and the school NEEDS the assistance. If you cannot deal with the children, try a hospital or a home for Senior Citizens.

  Spend time working you and making better decisions in your life. You will have no time to talk so much about others. No one is perfect and I am sure I will be discussing BBW LA later but I am making a conscious effort to work on YOLANDA. (ME) The 12 step program starts with the first step! Take the first step in becoming a better you. We are all "they" collectively. I am mentioning "they" because most statements begin with, "girl they said, blah, blah, blah".It's time to discuss what is most important.....YOU!

P.S. If you are my personal friend do not take this personally!

Proceed with Caution!

The New Hangover!

Another HANGOVER? No, not me. I've been drinking since the 8th grade. Back then I did not have a clue what a hangover was. But now, the recovery time is a little too extensive. I look back over these last 20 years and I think of all the fun I had drinking with my girls and I'm over it! This past weekend I realized that fun with friends is cool but the whole "Homegirl-itis" is officially over. I'm cured! We have enjoyed four-star hotels and resorts foreign and domestic and all I can tell you about them is what the lobbies and bars look like,oh and maybe the pool. I never take time and enjoy my $300 a night vacation because I have a hangover.When I finally get myself together, I get dressed and go out and do it all again.(Sound Familiar?) It has taken me two decades time to arrive at this destination but I would prefer to write, play poker, cook, coach my daughter's soccer team or sleep. My interests have changed and to get where I want to be, a hangover is just something else blocking me from my destiny. I'M COOL~ Proceed with caution!

Eddie Long, New Birth seek to recoup settlement money | ajc.com

Eddie Long, New Birth seek to recoup settlement money | ajc.com


People who live or worship in glass cathedrals should not throw stones, Bishop! Eddie Long's attorney is attempting to recoup cash from three of the men in the involved in the settlement and former members of the church are suing the Bishop accusing him of using the churches coiffures to settle with the men he lured with the churches cash! Karma, she is quick and keen. Proceed with caution family!

My Hair Is Layed Like Donation

I have to admit Funky Dineva is a guilty pleasure. I am assuming he is a comedian and Dineva is his "Wanda or Shanay-nay" any-who you have to admit this ish is hilarious! Listen carefully plus the videos are safe!

Enjoy,

YD Speaks