I Still Miss Him...

As my niece, Tiffany and my nephew, Frandon celebrate milestone birthdays I am reminded of another important date, the death of my father. Finniel Davidson died on his favorite grandson's birthday. January 8th, 1988, I was fifteen years old and had no clue what death is, an infinite closed door that can never be opened. I miss him more now than I did as a child. He was very strict and had very high expectations of me which I had no desire to live up to. I could have never stayed on his pedestal so God let me off the hook. He took him so he wouldn't have to witness my growing pains and terrible decisions. He was saved from watching me party my youth away, without ever considering a day like today. As I enter the third quarter of my life, I realize that if I only live as long as my father, I have 17 years left, that is like 17 days. Reading the posts on FB lately hell it might be less than 17 years. (I'm getting side tracked)

  My father was many things. He was raised in the deep south in the 1930's times were extremely hard. He never talked about his pass, but I know enough about history to know that a mixed raced family in the rural south had a hard way to go. He escaped the south and drove to California with his sister in the 1960's. He found love in 1970 and married my mom two months later. Within 17 years he was dead. He had very little education but managed to take care of his family, own his own business, drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. Family was everything to him. If me and my mom were happy, then the world was perfect. I feel sad for women who have never had the adoration of their father. It builds an esteem in you that no man can ever destroy. My dad instilled this arrogance and attitude in me. He told me daily how smart and beautiful I am. I know at times it has been to a fault but I am a better woman for it. The lessons my father taught me angered me as a child. Grabbing switches from a tree to get a whipping would be labeled abuse today but then it was a deterrent from getting in trouble. He taught me my first timetable 6X6=36, he taught me to plant food, he showed me the type of man I wanted and the type I did not want, he taught me how to make pancakes, and he showed me how to make it happen. He had so many sayings, of course I didn't understand then but I do now. I know that his death saved me, I know he has been my guardian angel for all these years. I have been places I had no business, I have seen things I should not have seen and I am still standing. I just wish he could be here to see the woman I am. Sometimes the day passes without me really thinking of it but this year is different. I miss him so much today. I wish he could see my baby, she doesn't have the grandfather experience, I didn't have it either. There are so many questions I didn't ask him, so many things I would tell him......the main thing I want to say is, THANK YOU, DADDY  LOVE YOU! ALL DAYS ALL WAYS

You Think She is a Jump Off? So Are YOU!

My phone rang around 12:30a.m. I had just come from the Regal Beagle, I was drunk as hell. My car drove itself around the corner. Thank God she knew the way home. "Hello"..."Hey." "You up? "Yeah"..."Come around here." "Okay." So I jump my drunk ass back in the car and go over his house. "You thirsty?" "No"... "You hungry?" "No"... "Lay your ass down!" Music plays, you fill in the blanks. Okay... Damn it's 5a.m. I have to get home before BK wakes up! Do you know how many times I did this before I realized this is the dumbest shit ever? News Flash: A booty call means you ain't the one! Let me say this one more time ladies, a jump off, booty call, late night hype whatever you want to call it, You ain't the one!  Now, you may be saying, you don't care and you're just having fun; don't play a player or try to sell me this bullshit. I know the real. You sleeping with dude because you like it and him. Very few women can just slept with men with no strings attached.

Which one are you?

• Lonely- I really desire a man, unfortunately I don't have one. I'll take a piece of a man.(desperate)
• Competitive- So caught up in the competition I will tolerate almost any humiliation just to be the winner. ( last man standing)
• Hot Horny- sexually frustrated, when I do find someone who can bring it in bed. I cannot get enough.(repeat offender)

Whatever you're telling yourself to keep this foolishness going, you need to stop. Destructive behavior is why some women cannot find a serious relationship. Men don't have to wait for the prize. Women giving out the prize before the race in run! Trust me, I know because I was once a repeat offender. If you have been sleeping with a man for over a six months and he never takes you on dates, you never met his family or friends and he does not do anything for you......You ain't the one! Do yourself a favor, loose his number and date someone you may not be assexually attracted to. Sex complicates everything. Once you take sex out of the equation the problems are not as difficult solve.

Side note: If you are married or in a relationship and your man's ex-wife, baby momma or old jump off is still trippin', she isn't trippin'. He is sleeping with her! She isn't crazy, you are for believing him. Once again, do not shoot the messenger!

Proceed with Caution!

Are You Happy? You Should Be...

Happiness lives or dies our minds. If we think we are happy, then we are happy. If we think we are having a great time, we have a great time. Many times we try too hard to be sad. Focusing on the negative aspects of an issue only makes us feel worse, all we have to do is be still and recognize all the blessings we take for granted. Watching a television program about a young man in his early twenties with total paralysis from a high school football injury reminds me of the blessings I have. Like, having the opportunity I watch my child run and play. Hearing stories of women in prison for defending themselves against a violent spouse, reminds me of how blessed I am to have a spouse who honors and respects me. While we sit complaining about this or that remember this is just one moment in time and does not reflect your entire life. Decide to be happy. Whatever you are unhappy with, you have the ability to transform the situation. I thank God for sad days. Sad days afford me time to be still and think about what is important. Health, sanity and the ability to make my life whatever I desire it to be. I hope hold the key to my future. Waiting on someone else to make me happy is insane. Happiness is in my daughter's eyes. When she smiles at me and says, "I love you, Mommie!" I know she means it. I do not have time to be unhappy. I have a life to live. Don't you?

I Should Have Written a Relationship book!

  Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey is now becoming a film for the big screen. Why? Most of the details in this book are common sense. Every woman over the age of thirty should know when a man is playing them. When a man really wants to be with you he does everything in his power to show you he wants to be with you. If you are still chasing a man after two years of dating, news flash; he is not fucking with you. Move on! I find it funny how the very men who give this advice to women want to get paid for the information. Steve Harvey would tell you for free, like your mother did if he were genuinely attempting to help. The messages are not new; they are just coming from a new source. The same people that have been cheating on their women and wives for years are now giving out healthy relationship advice for $19.99 plus shipping and handling. I've been thinking like a man for twenty years and you know where it got me?   Thinking I could date multiple men at a time and tell them lies, big mistake. I let some good men go playing too much. Men are not the smart ones, women are. The problem is we watch the news, listen to statistics that tell us there are no men. That is not true. All men are not gay, on drugs, or in prison. Maybe you should think about dating a younger man, or one who drives are car you don't like, or one who wears clothes that may not be in style. Our expectations of a man may be too high. Women want the knight in shinning armor, I say save you! Cinderella was white! You see the Princess and the Frog, she had to work for her prince and make the best gumbo. Work on you and once you have thrown all your old baggage away and killed your demons you will find the right person and you don't need Steve Harvey or Dr. Phil to tell you that because you already know.

This is a re-post and has been slightly updated when I heard the news Steve Harvey's first book is now in film production....Once again, I am confused!

When is the Relationship Over?

Most people have a had a relationship go all wrong. One day everything is all laughs and giggles and then one big blow out and you never speak again. Well that's how it seems at the time but really relationships end before we officially call it "quits." I had a relationship with someone who I thought was a friend. But time after time this person kept doing things I did not like. Offensive things. Rude and selfish things. I let them pass because I was giving the person the benefit of the doubt. But in reality I knew this relationship was over months ago, but of course there is always the straw that breaks the camel's back. Now the relationship is over. Why don't we end these hopeless relationships before someone gets hurt. This is not just for intimate relationships this goes for platonic friendships as well. There's nothing worse than being betrayed by someone you considered a friend. But as we grow older we realize that everyone is not a true friend. True friends don't need validations or pats on the back. They always come even when you don't call and they will never betray you for silver or gold. We choose our friends. And we make our enemies. Life is too short to dwell on negative issues but for anyone holding on to a friendship/relationship that you know has run it's course, be the bigger person and cancel that subscription to bullshit. If you are sitting around waiting for a grown man/woman to change: new flash........It's not going to happen! You change. Stop taking shorts. Only deal with the real! Don't be like Gladys Knight, be the first to say, "Farewell" Look to the future where positive relationships beget positive results. In your heart you know when it's over.........JUST SAY IT!

Why Do Women Read Relationship Books Written by MEN?

Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady, by Steve Harvey is now becoming a film for the big screen.Why? Most of the details in this book are common sense. Every women over the age of thirty should know when a man is playing them. When a man really wants to be with you he does everything in his power to let you know that he wants to be with you. If you are still chasing a man after two years of dating, news flash; he is not fucking with you. Move on! I find it funny how the very men who give this advice to women want to get paid for the information. If they where as genuine as they pretend to be they would tell you for free, like your mother did. The messages are not new, they are just coming from a new source. The same people that have been cheating on their women and wives for years are now giving out health relationship advice for $19.99 plus shipping and handling. I've been thinking like a man for twenty years and you know where it got me? NOWHERE!Thinking I could date multiple men at a time and tell them lies, big mistake. I let some good men go playing too much. Men are not the smart ones, women are. The problem is we watch the news, listen to statistics that tell us there are no men. That is not true. All men are not gay, on drugs, or in prison. Maybe you should think about dating a younger man, or one who drives are car you don't like, or one who wears clothes that may not be in style. Our expectations of a man may be too high.Women want the knight in shinning armor, I say save yourself! Work on you and once you have thrown all your old baggage away and killed your demons you will find the right person and you don't need Steve Harvey or Dr. Phil to tell you that because you already know.

This is a re-post and has been slightly updated when I heard the news Steve Harvey's first book is now in film production....Once again, I am confused!