Hate on You? Who Are You?

  Hater...I am so tired of the noun. Hate is such a strong word and takes so much pain staking energy to muster up. In this new Hip Hop generation the term is used by people who most of us do not acknowledge, let alone have time hate. I hear children saying it. I hear teenagers saying it. Girls with no jobs, education or financial status are saying people are haters. I hear guys who live with their parents and they have children saying people are hating on them. I hear immature women who get paid to make a fool of them selves on fictitious reality television shows saying the other immature women are hating on them. I hear senior citizens using the term now. How far will this foolishness go? Rhetorical question of course, but for anyone who may think I personally am a hater because I tend to speak about things that annoy me or issues I feel need to be addressed let me assure I have no time, energy or desire to hate on you. Who are you? If you have time to stop and worry about who is saying what about you, you may not be using your time wisely. People who have their lives together are too busy keeping their life on track to sit up and tweet, Facebook update, beebo, email or call people to hate on  you. 

If you are wondering why I feel so passionately about this, I am a Twitter subscriber. I am attempting to promote my blog and get information on what is going on in the world. I follow all sorts of people. Most people I follow on twitter are positive. But a few of them are completely consumed with the people they perceive are hate them. I get so sick of the reteets and status updates on Facebook about haters. I may be wrong but most of the time people are just talking, they don't give a shit about you and what you have, what you drive, where you live or who you sleep with. It's just conversation that is a diversion from their lives and all the issues they have going on. I replied to a tweet that @EvelynLozada Basketball Wive posted about some girl @ShaniceH being a "Hater" below is a copy of my tweet.

YD_Reigns Y.D.Carter

@

@EvelynLozada @ochocinco @ShanieceH You kill me with Hater, expand your vocabulary like @Roycelr said last yr.#nooneishating

EvelynLozada Evelyn Lozada

Fuck u (is that better)? RT @YD_Reigns: @EvelynLozada @ochocinco @ShanieceH You kill me with Hater, expand your vocabulary

I think it is funny how just the mere mention of self improvement sent her over the edge. She doesn't know me but what if I were crazy and punched in the mouth if I saw her at the mall? I am an adult now and do not behave in that matter but if this were ten or fifteen years ago it would be my life's mission to show her how 78th street girls really get down. Thank God for deliverance from foolishness. The point of this post is to point out how petty we can be as humans and how we need to uplift instead of tear down. Now I would be lying if I said there was not personal ambition behind the tweet, she has over six hundred thousand followers and she mentioned me. This blog will get traffic and succeed. I am on another level right now like Outkast. As usual I am always willing to articulate what people think privately. Take it from a woman who has seen and done things that many people on dream of. The triumph in life comes from loving yourself, not loving what you have. $1000 shoes cannot take you down the right road. They only make someone else wealthy. A $250,000 car cannot drive you to your final destination.(Heaven or Hell) We need to unite and stop fighting! Love yourself and love someone else along the way. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

10 Things People Do to Ruin Their Lives

     Everyone has advice of what you should do for a happy life. I cannot tell you what you do to be happy, but I can tell you what to do if you want to ruin your life. 

1. Fall in love with the wrong person. People loose decades of their lives in dead end relationships, simply because the person they fell in love with was wrong for them.
2. Do not get an education. If you desire a life filled with mediocrity and financial ruin this is one of the best ways to assure you have it your way.
3. Sleep around with strangers. A reputation as a promiscuous woman will take a lifetime to live down and could cost you your life if you happen to sleep with a killer or someone who has a deadly disease and passes it you.
4. Have kids by multiple people. Having a baby every two or three years for ten years will reserve your seat in misery. Your ex's may be cool but your child support payments and interaction with four or five different people with visitation schedules, play dates, sports and school will have you exhausted. You will also have a difficult time finding a meaningful relationship with all your baggage.
5. Commit a felony. Jobs are scarce for job seekers with clean records. Imagine how difficult it would be if you had to mark yes by the box for: have you ever been convicted of a felony? 
6. Become an Addict. Drug and alcohol abuse are a wonderful way to ruin relationships, loose jobs, impair your judgment and steer you down the road to an early grave. You can join a long list of well known people as well anonymous John and Jane Does downtown in the morgue. 
7. Tell Lies and Cheat. Nothing spells looser like liar. When no one believes you, your integrity is null. Cheaters are right up there with liars and thieves!
8. Stay in one place. Moving around and exploring new places allows a person to broaden his or her horizons. The environment you feel most comfortable most likely will stagnate your personal development. If you live in a depressed or distressed community, by all means stay there and fester in misery.
9. Do not take your health seriously. Ignore the Surgeon General and the American Cancer Society and smoke cigarettes. Loose at least ten years of your life and look older than your peers. Over eat and become obese. Don't exercise or go the doctor for regular check ups. I guarantee you will suffer the consequences.
10. Do not cultivate a relationship with God. Your spirit is the most essential part of you. A life without God is not life it is death! 

     Life is not about where you have been. Life is about where you are going. 

Use the GPS and choose which direction you want to go and bookmark the locations to stay away from.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Are Television Evangelists the New Pimps?

  And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marveled at him. Mark 12:15
 This scripture is the one instance I remember when Jesus Christ spoke of a financial obligation. Salvation is free, the only requirement is belief. I am not a bible scholar, but I do know most of the time when the rich were mentioned in bible is not positive outcome. So can anyone explain to me why and how these self-proclaimed bishops are living in mansions, driving the most expensive cars in the world, traveling the world on G-5 jets, wearing tailored clothing and selling the word of God to people all of the world? How can one Shepherd look after 25,000 sheep? He can't. That's why although you may have attended a mega church for years, if you, your mother, your daughter or your dog dies; the "Bishop" ain't coming! He will most likely send a senior minister and a pre-typed resolution.
    Is there any proof Paul was selling his epistles to the first saints? Did Peter have a palace? I am asking myself these questions because in a time where Blacks have the highest unemployment rates in the country, the highest foreclosure rates, and the lowest wealth and education rates how are some other wealthiest ministers in the country Black? What are they doing for the poverty epidemic? Is anyone calling them to charge on the ultra exclusive lifestyles they live? How can Creflo Dollar, T.D. Jakes, Eddie Long, Kirby Caldwell, Charles E.Blake, and 45 other men be making as much as $400,000 annually to preach the word of God? Please do not think I am not a believer, I am. But I am also pragmatic and can see through this web of foolishness and deceit. Everyone who claims to be of the Lord is not. Do not be fooled there are many false prophets. I know this morning @ New Mt. Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church in Inglewood, the word of God was being preached and the spirit of the Lord was present. There was no VIP parking or entrance. No one mentioned paying for blessings and no one made me feel as if I were not included. 
   Los Angeles and Atlanta have some of the highest unemployment and foreclosure rates and we also have some of the largest mega churches. What are the churches doing with all the tithes and offerings? Can the mega church pastors cut back their lifestyles for the members of their flocks? If Eddie Long and Creflo Dollar can afford to fire up private jets at $30,000 one way, how many members of their congregations could they employee or educate? Not to mention that President Obama traveled on Eddie Long's jet throughout the primary season while running for president. (Wonder who paid for fuel?) Millions of dollars are flowing through black churches all over the country and although I see beautiful buildings what are the churches doing with all the money? How could Eddie Long afford a multi-million dollar settlement? I really do not understand why a pastor of God would need to drive a Ferrari or a Bentley Coupe. Especially if he doesn't have another job and members of his church may be catching the bus to church. Christians are supposed to be different. Flashy clothing, flashy cars and flashy jewelry are images of the world Satan rules so why would a man or woman of God want to appear to be of that world? No, I do not believe God wants us to be deprived and miserable, but greed and overindulgence are not an element of his plan. When you stand up and profess to be called by the Most High God you have a responsibility to win souls for Christ and lead by example. Living in a mansion in Bel-Air while many members of your congregation are being put out in the street is not the example the Lord set for his followers. I pray that my brothers and sisters in Christ can start to look past the celebrities, the choir, the marble floors and bright lights and see the church as God intended. The church is a free clinic for sick souls; there is no co-pay or hidden fees. Jesus paid it all!



 http://thechurchladyblogs.com/category/religious-blogs/

Click on the link for more info on the church... 

Proceed with Caution

Stop Blaming Others...

I always point the finger at someone. My husband did this. Or my brothers did not do that. My friend should have done such and such. Guess what, if I did everything I am supposed to do, I would not have time to worry about everything they did not do. Focusing on the negative gets me caught up in negativity and prohibits me from moving in a positive direction. Of course, I could complain all day but I choose to be grateful for positive aspects of my life. Having a supportive spouse is more important to me than the fact I can't get him to cook. Having two brothers who care about my family and assist me whenever they can, is more important than me harping on the things they do not do. I must admit I am a work in progress. There are days when I am on one and I get caught up in negative thoughts and have my pity party. On those days, I stay to myself and attempt to pray the negative thoughts away. Of course it is much easier to blame someone else. I'm not forced to look at all things that I am not doing right. God has me in the position to make a difference in my world. Sending out messages to my friends and family is important because I know we are all going through hell right now. Unfortunately for many of us, the hell we are going through we walked into on our own. Bad decisions and poor planning has us where we want to blame others when in fact we should be putting the blame where it belongs. Luckily for us we have an opportunity to change or current plight and move forward in God's grace. Accepting responsibility for yourself and your circumstance is the first step to changing direction and following the narrow road which leads to happiness. Take a look in the rear view mirror and remember where you have been, but don't look too long because you need to focus on where you are going

Proceed with Caution!

Yolanda, Headed for Success

You Think She is a Jump Off? So Are YOU!

My phone rang around 12:30a.m. I had just come from the Regal Beagle, I was drunk as hell. My car drove itself around the corner. Thank God she knew the way home. "Hello"..."Hey." "You up? "Yeah"..."Come around here." "Okay." So I jump my drunk ass back in the car and go over his house. "You thirsty?" "No"... "You hungry?" "No"... "Lay your ass down!" Music plays, you fill in the blanks. Okay... Damn it's 5a.m. I have to get home before BK wakes up! Do you know how many times I did this before I realized this is the dumbest shit ever? News Flash: A booty call means you ain't the one! Let me say this one more time ladies, a jump off, booty call, late night hype whatever you want to call it, You ain't the one!  Now, you may be saying, you don't care and you're just having fun; don't play a player or try to sell me this bullshit. I know the real. You sleeping with dude because you like it and him. Very few women can just slept with men with no strings attached.

Which one are you?

• Lonely- I really desire a man, unfortunately I don't have one. I'll take a piece of a man.(desperate)
• Competitive- So caught up in the competition I will tolerate almost any humiliation just to be the winner. ( last man standing)
• Hot Horny- sexually frustrated, when I do find someone who can bring it in bed. I cannot get enough.(repeat offender)

Whatever you're telling yourself to keep this foolishness going, you need to stop. Destructive behavior is why some women cannot find a serious relationship. Men don't have to wait for the prize. Women giving out the prize before the race in run! Trust me, I know because I was once a repeat offender. If you have been sleeping with a man for over a six months and he never takes you on dates, you never met his family or friends and he does not do anything for you......You ain't the one! Do yourself a favor, loose his number and date someone you may not be assexually attracted to. Sex complicates everything. Once you take sex out of the equation the problems are not as difficult solve.

Side note: If you are married or in a relationship and your man's ex-wife, baby momma or old jump off is still trippin', she isn't trippin'. He is sleeping with her! She isn't crazy, you are for believing him. Once again, do not shoot the messenger!

Proceed with Caution!

Are You Happy? You Should Be...

Happiness lives or dies our minds. If we think we are happy, then we are happy. If we think we are having a great time, we have a great time. Many times we try too hard to be sad. Focusing on the negative aspects of an issue only makes us feel worse, all we have to do is be still and recognize all the blessings we take for granted. Watching a television program about a young man in his early twenties with total paralysis from a high school football injury reminds me of the blessings I have. Like, having the opportunity I watch my child run and play. Hearing stories of women in prison for defending themselves against a violent spouse, reminds me of how blessed I am to have a spouse who honors and respects me. While we sit complaining about this or that remember this is just one moment in time and does not reflect your entire life. Decide to be happy. Whatever you are unhappy with, you have the ability to transform the situation. I thank God for sad days. Sad days afford me time to be still and think about what is important. Health, sanity and the ability to make my life whatever I desire it to be. I hope hold the key to my future. Waiting on someone else to make me happy is insane. Happiness is in my daughter's eyes. When she smiles at me and says, "I love you, Mommie!" I know she means it. I do not have time to be unhappy. I have a life to live. Don't you?

WILL THE REAL MEN STAND UP?

 Almost everywhere I go I see them. Pro-Clubs, I hate them. They scream, overweight and unemployed. Men are quick to criticize women with muffin tops but what about the kegs under those white tees. I remember when a man was considered a big dude if he wore a 2X. Now I think they may go as high as 6X and I don't know any women rockin' a 6X. As if the white tee wasn't bad enough, then they have to sag on top of it, I think I am getting sick... I miss the old days...the 1990's when men stayed suited and booted! The days when dress to impress meant, gator boots and suits; not fake True Religion jeans and a white t-shirt. And since I'm on the subject of fake; what the hell is going with all these men wearing costume jewelry? Who sanctioned this foolishness? I see guys walking around with huge CZ earrings and Michael Kors watches with crystals. WTF? I realize the money that was lying on the ground and lacing everyone's pockets and purses is not available. Back then I owed designer handbags and shoes too. Just because you can't afford a Rolex, you do not have to wear a Folex. Someone needs to draw a line in the sand and let the real men stand on one side and the fake ones stand on the other. Women are confused. Dudes walking around the club looking icy and can't even afford to take a lady on date! Stop the madness! Adult men should not wear women jeans, purses, costume jewelry or get their eye brows arched; unless they live an alternative lifestyle.

   I see so much confusion I have decided I’m getting old. When I was in my twenties, men took women on dates. A man would wine and dine you to get you in the mood, tell some lies about how he wanted to marry you and then drop the bomb on you. Now I hear of women not only taking men on dates, women are buying them motorcycles. If man is accepting financial assistance from you and he is not your man, he is hustling you, RUN!!! I was taught men are the protectors and providers. Women are the caregivers and nurturers. The practice of women chasing men is like the earth rotating the opposite direction. We are animals first. I cannot name a species where the female chases the male. Lionesses go out to hunt and bring lions food, but the male lion will protect his pride from any other animal in the jungle. The dog chases the cat not the other way around! We all need to get our shit together
Disclaimer: Real men disregard this post! If you know some fraudulent men please suggest they stand up. We need our men! Too many good women are single and need to help build strong families.Our boys are weak without men, women cannot do it alone!

Proceed with Caution!

I Should Have Written a Relationship book!

  Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey is now becoming a film for the big screen. Why? Most of the details in this book are common sense. Every woman over the age of thirty should know when a man is playing them. When a man really wants to be with you he does everything in his power to show you he wants to be with you. If you are still chasing a man after two years of dating, news flash; he is not fucking with you. Move on! I find it funny how the very men who give this advice to women want to get paid for the information. Steve Harvey would tell you for free, like your mother did if he were genuinely attempting to help. The messages are not new; they are just coming from a new source. The same people that have been cheating on their women and wives for years are now giving out healthy relationship advice for $19.99 plus shipping and handling. I've been thinking like a man for twenty years and you know where it got me?   Thinking I could date multiple men at a time and tell them lies, big mistake. I let some good men go playing too much. Men are not the smart ones, women are. The problem is we watch the news, listen to statistics that tell us there are no men. That is not true. All men are not gay, on drugs, or in prison. Maybe you should think about dating a younger man, or one who drives are car you don't like, or one who wears clothes that may not be in style. Our expectations of a man may be too high. Women want the knight in shinning armor, I say save you! Cinderella was white! You see the Princess and the Frog, she had to work for her prince and make the best gumbo. Work on you and once you have thrown all your old baggage away and killed your demons you will find the right person and you don't need Steve Harvey or Dr. Phil to tell you that because you already know.

This is a re-post and has been slightly updated when I heard the news Steve Harvey's first book is now in film production....Once again, I am confused!

Why Don't You Mind Your Own Business?

   As I mature, reality has shown me, I talk too much. I talk about people I don't know. I talk about people I do know. Friends develop the tendency to form opinions of what others should or should not do.What affords me the right to judge you? My life isn't together...but I will sit here and past judgment in a minute. I have just as many questionable decisions made as the next person but of course I never see what I need to do. But when my girlfriends get together and discuss me, I'm sure they have a plenty of suggestions, that they conveniently forget to share with me....thus like I said in the title...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! With the exception of maybe three or four people, everyone I know has plenty of room for personal improvement.
We could all use a bit of personal development:

•   Continuing Education- Americans are less educated than they were 20 years ago. With more televised programming and the internet, how many people read meaningful books that enrich their lives?

•   A Healthier Lifestyle-Obesity is alarming in the African-American community, I see women looking phenomenal, designer bags and shoes, but they are thirty to forty pounds over weight. Use the hour spent on B.S. to walk around your neighborhood!

•   Volunteer- So many people are unemployed, take this excellent opportunity to go to you local elementary school and donate an hour or two of your time. You will feel great and the school NEEDS the assistance. If you cannot deal with the children, try a hospital or a home for Senior Citizens.

  Spend time working you and making better decisions in your life. You will have no time to talk so much about others. No one is perfect and I am sure I will be discussing BBW LA later but I am making a conscious effort to work on YOLANDA. (ME) The 12 step program starts with the first step! Take the first step in becoming a better you. We are all "they" collectively. I am mentioning "they" because most statements begin with, "girl they said, blah, blah, blah".It's time to discuss what is most important.....YOU!

P.S. If you are my personal friend do not take this personally!

Proceed with Caution!

The New Hangover!

Another HANGOVER? No, not me. I've been drinking since the 8th grade. Back then I did not have a clue what a hangover was. But now, the recovery time is a little too extensive. I look back over these last 20 years and I think of all the fun I had drinking with my girls and I'm over it! This past weekend I realized that fun with friends is cool but the whole "Homegirl-itis" is officially over. I'm cured! We have enjoyed four-star hotels and resorts foreign and domestic and all I can tell you about them is what the lobbies and bars look like,oh and maybe the pool. I never take time and enjoy my $300 a night vacation because I have a hangover.When I finally get myself together, I get dressed and go out and do it all again.(Sound Familiar?) It has taken me two decades time to arrive at this destination but I would prefer to write, play poker, cook, coach my daughter's soccer team or sleep. My interests have changed and to get where I want to be, a hangover is just something else blocking me from my destiny. I'M COOL~ Proceed with caution!

Eddie Long, New Birth seek to recoup settlement money | ajc.com

Eddie Long, New Birth seek to recoup settlement money | ajc.com


People who live or worship in glass cathedrals should not throw stones, Bishop! Eddie Long's attorney is attempting to recoup cash from three of the men in the involved in the settlement and former members of the church are suing the Bishop accusing him of using the churches coiffures to settle with the men he lured with the churches cash! Karma, she is quick and keen. Proceed with caution family!