The End is Near...

Another decade has passed. At this time 10 years ago, I was pregnant and in escrow for a home I did not purchase. At the time, I told myself I would get another one when I returned to work after I had the baby. Well the baby is now a pre-tween and I still do not own a home. But that is not what this post is about. This post is about time. Time is the one thing we all waste but we cannot not get back. It does not have a price but it is very costly when wasted. This morning I shared with a girlfriend, without the birth of my daughter what have I done with the last 10 years? When you say 10 years it sounds like a long time ago, but I promise I can see myself sitting on the patio at Fridays six months pregnant watching Laker games. Well now that I think about it, I did get married.....something I always wanted to do.Plus a whole plethora of other things. Okay, maybe I am being too hard on myself.

In ten years, I will be 5 days from 50! If the next ten years go bye like the last ten, I had better start planning my 50th birthday party now! LOL Entering into the third quarter of my life has me feeling excited about the future. I have started my own business and although I have had ups and downs I know this is the direction that is best for me.With hard work and determination I will achieve me goals.

So much has changed over the last decade. I have lost loved ones and I have developed new friendships and relationships. I have gone from a "party girl" to a middle-aged woman. I stop traveling across the country now I taxi my daughter and friends around town. My best friend doesn't call me anymore but she does remember me when I go see her. I miss her calls and nagging but most of all I miss her love and support. I could have never imagined my mom could change so drastically in such a short period of time. I am grateful for my mother and all she has given me. She has been everything I needed as a parent and if I give that to Brooklynn then I have done my job.God has given me many blessing in my 39 years, 360 days I cannot begin to name them all but, wisdom, courage, health, love, friends, family, foes, adversity, challenges, triumphs and failures have all molded me into the woman I am today. I may not be all that I am going to be but I more than I was and not quite what I will be soon!

If you are reading this there is a great chance that I have touched your life in some way and I am sure you have touched mine. Sometimes my husband tells me I care too much, I cannot help it I am a 9 that's what we do in Life cycle nine care for people.(I know some people are confused)  Thank you for laughing with me, talking with me, arguing with me, fighting with me, partying with me, drinking with me, praying with me, traveling with me and living with me. These last 39 years have been a blast and I cannot wait to see what is on the other side of 29. I have to let you go 29 and become a FABULOUS 40 YEAR OLD!

AS ALWAYS...PROCEED WITH CAUTION
PROJECT72 ALMOST COMPLETE

The Real Black on Black Crime is not Illegal!

After watching another informative YouTube video http://youtu.be/2ctxwP9R_sg Maafa21 I learned a great deal about something I know very little about Eugenics. (Google it because it's very detailed.) I remember when I was a little girl and all the Black radio stations used to advertise HER medical clinic which offered low cost or free tubal ligation. Of course as a ten year old I had no idea that this was a form of sterilization but I do remember conversations regarding the "slaughter house" and how it was placed in the Black community to "get rid of  us". The sad thing is I never knew that not only could this be true, but that me and many of my friends and family members had been a part of the genocide of our own race. We have been taught that we have a right to choose, but we had no clue that the choice had been set to a jingle and been placed in our faces to be an easy way to get out of a mistake. Well after the third time it really isn't a mistake. More like a reckless behavior that has caused irreversible damage to a community and a nation. Yes, it seems the United States government has been sponsoring the genocide of the Black race and we have been voting for it! You wonder why you don't see a lot of blacks at the grocery store or on the local  playground? They didn't make it. I know this is disturbing and it's disturbing to write but I feel compelled to say this, WE NEED TO STOP TELLING YOUNG GIRLS TO HAVE ABORTIONS! POWER IN NUMBERS IS REAL! Drive down any major street east of Normandie and notice all the newly built schools. You know why they are there? Because they are filled children, thousands of them and they AIN'T BLACK! Between abortions, HIV, the crack cocaine epidemic, the prosecutions and unfare sentencing of Black males who are incarcerated our race is nearly extinct. In 50 years we will be like Native Americans living on reservations. People will say, there used to be a lot of African-Americans but they killed each other off. The old people used to say, "and don't have a bunch of babies!" I didn't listen to much of their advice but I did listen to that one piece.

I find myself middle-aged and realize that was a bad idea. I should have had more children. I am a good mother and have a great deal of love to share and life lessons to teach. My mom had three kids and at my age she was doing much better than I am today. Less children doesn't seem to have anyone in a better financial or personal situation. The economic down turn has hit single people just as hard as married people with children.

African-Americans need to wake up, we are teaching our children the wrong things.And mainstream media is assisting in doing more damage with misogynistic music and negative television personalities.We need more unity. We need to love one another, respect one another, honor one another, support one another and teach one another. The world as we know it is coming apart by the strings and it is time to get together and realize that ever since the first slave ship landed we have been a problem for this country.And they have been attempting to show the world we deserved the mistreatment.  The US Government has done all sorts of atrocities to us and have taught us to now do it to ourselves. The top 1% have always seen the slaves and their descendants as an end to justify their means. Now that they play on the global market we really aren't necessary, seems as if they are attempting to starve us out. But we have a secret weapon, we could always....STOP supporting them. Black on Black crime needs to stop and we are the only ones who can stop it!

Proceed with Caution!

Y.D.C.

Reality TV, We Love it! We Hate it! But We Watch it!

After the re-broadcast of Basketball Wives season 4 reunion show, I posted a comment regarding the lack of reality on the show. I also mentioned a rumor about the show. I personally did not spread the rumor at first but by the next day I had over forty comments regarding the show. I have a business and post beautiful items I am selling and I get zero comments? *confused* any who....my point is people are interested in the media known as reality television. I remember how my mother loved the Young and the Restless, she would talk about Victor Newman as if he were her friend....he was a fictional character who won her heart and many hours of her life and mine, cause wasn't nothing stopping her from watching the Y&R. Now thirty years later we have the new soaps, Reality TV dramas. And boy is there drama. No matter which is your favorite they all offer the same dishes: jealously, envy, conceit, loud women, gay men, money, luxury brands and plenty of bragging. Throw in some he said/she said and you have the recipe for a successful reality show. The funny thing is, no matter how immature, silly, ignorant, or down right ratchet the characters are we tune in. Over 5 million viewers have been watching BBW's. The advertisers are making millions and I am sure VH1 is not doing bad either. Wasn't VH1 a music channel? Do they even have any music programming? I thought it was bad when MTV, VH1 and video Juke Box played videos all day. This is much worse. I am a middle aged woman and I know these shows are not real. I know the producers spin the shows to make people believe certain characters are a certain way, but with Twitter, blogs, Instagram and all the other 24 hr a day media cycles we cannot seem to get away from the foolishness. It saddens me to see so many of our young people being fooled into believing this is reality. In reality most of the people on these shows are miserable and lonely. If the BBW's had husbands they would be trying to keep their families together not tear down relationships. Glorifying designer bags, designer clothes, luxury cars and way too much make-up is destroying many young ladies. I know these ladies are doing more than arguing over who does not like who, why are they spinning these shows to be so shallow? What is the hidden agenda in the media's attempt to make us all hate one another? Where is the love? On the first reality based shows like Wild World of Sports and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous the audience was only shown the best side of sports figures and celebrities. But when shows like Cops and Inside Edition started telling "all" everything went hay-wire. I was looking for something new from BBW's I wanted to see the lifestyle....TRIPS, SHOPPING, BIRTHDAY PARTIES, COOK-OUTS.  I was interested in how they really lived. Unfortunately this never happened. Yes, I do watch reality TV but I don't like it!

Where Do We Go from Here?

Los Angeles, CA is one of the largest cities in the world. Los Angeles is supposed to be one of the world's meccas for nightlife and non-stop fun. Unfortunately if you are Black and over the age of 35 there are very few opportunities to do so.Clubs in Hollywood are too young, most of the bowling alleys and local bars are either for senior citizens or are so crowded you cannot even find a seat. Where can a middle aged person go to have a drink, hear some music or have a great debate with cool men and women about life, politics, religion or what we love to debate about: Men vs.Women. Staying home is boring. How much reality TV can one watch? How many times can you yell at Kobe without him listening? How many more seasons of American Idol and DWTS can one take with regurgitating on the couch? Our city is desperate need of a urban hangout suite. A place where people can come together without the riff-raft ruining it. We need a Cheers... as place where everybody knows your name and is always glad you came. Or maybe Eddie Murphy can open Ray's Boom-Boom room. I am so tired of having nothing to do. I don't want to go to the movies. I am tired of the same three places that will remain nameless... I wonder if other cities are in the dire straits Los Angeles is in? I remember traveling to Chicago every other week and enjoying Rush Street and enjoying the plethora of bars, lounges, clubs and restaurants. Where is our Rush Street? What happened to the 1970's and 1980's when Crenshaw Blvd. had bars and restaurants left and right? Why is our community so disenfranchised? When are the leaders going to realize we need more than fast food, churches, nail shops and liquor stores in our community. Personally I'm tired of the way things are and I am going to start mobilizing and begin taking action. Something must be done! I am starting a movement! Bring Black LA back to life! We are more than people who drive long distances to spend our money and get treated poorly when we get there! Not sure what I am going to do but this is something that has been on my mind.


PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

If you find something to do.... call me :)  

Rebuttal to 10 Reasons MEN WON'T DATE YOU!

10 Reasons Men Won't Date You LOL

This is a rebuttal to the post I just read and copied. I feel you on some of the points but many of the points are just excuses. If a real woman, encounters a real man, 75% of everything on your list would be void. We all have a past, but we do not have to keep re-living our past. Depending on a person's age, financial status, demographics, educational background, family size and social personality for lack of a better word, these usually dictate where they go and who they know. Just because a woman stays home does not mean she would make a good mate for a man. Some women stay home and sleep with all their friends men while they are out a parties. Some women stay home and smoke weed while their children sleep in the other room. Some women stay home and don't cook, clean, or pay their bills. Some women only go to church activities and are sleeping with all the deacons and choir members. Of course I am only saying this to show that these generalizations you made are just that. I will only speak for myself because at times in my life I have been similar to the women you described and I have always had plenty of dates!

1. Nosy: Information is they key to any decision. Men who do not want to give out information are hiding things. Like their true marital status, true number of kids (even the ones you don't claim), their real address, (not sister/momma house), where they really work (no where) and real car (not the motorcycle) the 1996 Camry. Women over 35 have no time to relax,relate and release. Women are trying to find a mate. The clock is ticking and they need someone to come help pay their mortgage so they can buy some income property!
2. Male Friends: I cannot understand why Black men cannot be platonic. I have MANY friends who I have slept with and MANY friends I have NOT slept with but one thing is for sure, If I say I am not sleeping with someone I am not. I cannot be tricked out of my P! So keeping male friends is good because men are honest with us when we need advice. Girlfriends say what we want to hear. STOP BEING SO INSECURE AND SCARED SOMEONE IS GOING TO SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT, WE ALREADY DO!
3. FAMILY:  A woman who is close to her family will be close to you if you become her family, until then you don't have priority over my family!
4. CLUB RAT: I love this one! Single, pretty, no kids, warm weather, good job, nice car, nice clothes, nice house, hard worker....yeah she going out! Cause MR. Right nor Mr. Wrong is going to knock on HER door. Back in the day, everyone went out to parties on Friday and Saturday night. THEN: Men went with Women! Now we have to go alone, but that is no problem. As long as the Patron and Goose are flowing and BEBE still has fly clothes and shoes women will be out in droves! BUT PLEASE BELIEVE: IF THEY HAD A MAN TO BE AT THE LUX WITH THEY WOULD! NO WOMAN WOULD CHOOSE THE CLUB OVER HER MAN!
5. NICE THUGS DO EXIST! Just like nice hoes exist. I know many men who have the best of both worlds. No woman whats to be with a whimp. No we don't want our ass kicked but we have to know you can and will protect us. PROVIDE and PROTECT! I can cook my ass off, fight like a boxer, dress like Halle Berry, sit down and talk to Donald Trump and Pierce Morgan plus blow ya mind so don't tell me what don't exist!
6. HE TREATED ME BADLY? WOW...U ain't him! You are not in my head like that and I won't let that happen again. If you a nice guy, why were u late three times? Cause you didn't give a fuck...I bet u would not be late to get your homeboy? But you want her to be silent and let you decide what you want to do...NOT this new generation really don't care if you won't date them cause they will date each other....they kicking men out the car, for-real....
7. DUTCH? Where they do that? If you are attempting to date a woman and you cannot not afford dating you should wait. The first year is dates that you pay for....once we are a couple, I cook, you eat...I pay for the food! I suggest we go to Palm Springs...I pay! It's your Birthday, I take you to Tahoe....I pay! If I knew you for less than 90 days my wallet does not open! GOT IT? GOOD
8. Jocks...sounds redundant! no comment and sounds a little haterish!
9. Arguments: I agree on this one! We do need to stop with the yelling! I don't do it. But I have a husband so I guess none of this applies to me anyway. I have been single and I understand what its like to be looking for the right address when none of the buildings are numbered!
10. I deleted one because it was about Facebook stalking and I know damn well no self respecting middle-aged woman would do something so immature!

I am Mrs. Yolanda Davidson-Carter and I approve this message

Proceed With Caution!

What the Hell is Wrong with People?

 
  Every morning I awake to the morning news and most of the time it is shocking. Headlines read: Students shoots classmates, unknown causalities. Mother kills children. Husband kills wife and children. Soldier kills innocent children and civilians and burns them. 5 killed in car crash. I could go on but what is the point? Stress and despair invade people's mind and has them believing that all of this is real and matters. Bills and material things are not what matter in life. What you drive, where you live, where you work and who you are paired up with have no real bearing on your life. Your relationship with God is all that matters! All the things we have are just fillers to keep the mind occupied but these things are not important. We have let society tell us, we need to have 2.5 kids, a home, a career, an education and a 401k plan. Women are under pressure to be 10 million things that have very little to do with womanhood. Be thin, be rich, be a housewife, be a mother, be submissive, be assertive, be independent, be nice, be quiet, NO JUST BE! Young people are literally killing themselves because they do not have what they think they should have. Men are under pressure too. Men are supposed to provide, protect, and produce. Society wants them to be tough, but sensitive, assertive but nice, generous but not a push over. Men are expected to settle down and have a family all the while other women are throwing themselves at them at all times. They have to be strong and not show emotion. But when they show no emotion they are accused of being cold. Life has me so confused I could scream.

  The time has come to get back to where we started from. I grew up with two God fearing parents who taught me morals, values, and overall self-esteem. I have noticed many people lack these qualities. If you have morals there are certain things you will not do. If core values are instilled, you will think before you portray unethical behavior that may ruin your life. When a person has self-esteem they value themselves as well as others. I challenge all who read this post to make a conscious effort to do better. As a society we have to do better, we are becoming the "they" we talk about. The rude, self-centered, crazy, ignorant, selfish, lying, stealing, killing people we read about it in Tweets and Facebook posts. The fools we see on the news at night are us. The only way things can change is if we change. We are the people arguing over dumb shit and making enemies for nothing. We all need to check ourselves and come together because "we are all we got!"
PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

I Still Miss Him...

As my niece, Tiffany and my nephew, Frandon celebrate milestone birthdays I am reminded of another important date, the death of my father. Finniel Davidson died on his favorite grandson's birthday. January 8th, 1988, I was fifteen years old and had no clue what death is, an infinite closed door that can never be opened. I miss him more now than I did as a child. He was very strict and had very high expectations of me which I had no desire to live up to. I could have never stayed on his pedestal so God let me off the hook. He took him so he wouldn't have to witness my growing pains and terrible decisions. He was saved from watching me party my youth away, without ever considering a day like today. As I enter the third quarter of my life, I realize that if I only live as long as my father, I have 17 years left, that is like 17 days. Reading the posts on FB lately hell it might be less than 17 years. (I'm getting side tracked)

  My father was many things. He was raised in the deep south in the 1930's times were extremely hard. He never talked about his pass, but I know enough about history to know that a mixed raced family in the rural south had a hard way to go. He escaped the south and drove to California with his sister in the 1960's. He found love in 1970 and married my mom two months later. Within 17 years he was dead. He had very little education but managed to take care of his family, own his own business, drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. Family was everything to him. If me and my mom were happy, then the world was perfect. I feel sad for women who have never had the adoration of their father. It builds an esteem in you that no man can ever destroy. My dad instilled this arrogance and attitude in me. He told me daily how smart and beautiful I am. I know at times it has been to a fault but I am a better woman for it. The lessons my father taught me angered me as a child. Grabbing switches from a tree to get a whipping would be labeled abuse today but then it was a deterrent from getting in trouble. He taught me my first timetable 6X6=36, he taught me to plant food, he showed me the type of man I wanted and the type I did not want, he taught me how to make pancakes, and he showed me how to make it happen. He had so many sayings, of course I didn't understand then but I do now. I know that his death saved me, I know he has been my guardian angel for all these years. I have been places I had no business, I have seen things I should not have seen and I am still standing. I just wish he could be here to see the woman I am. Sometimes the day passes without me really thinking of it but this year is different. I miss him so much today. I wish he could see my baby, she doesn't have the grandfather experience, I didn't have it either. There are so many questions I didn't ask him, so many things I would tell him......the main thing I want to say is, THANK YOU, DADDY  LOVE YOU! ALL DAYS ALL WAYS