Where Do We Go from Here?

Los Angeles, CA is one of the largest cities in the world. Los Angeles is supposed to be one of the world's meccas for nightlife and non-stop fun. Unfortunately if you are Black and over the age of 35 there are very few opportunities to do so.Clubs in Hollywood are too young, most of the bowling alleys and local bars are either for senior citizens or are so crowded you cannot even find a seat. Where can a middle aged person go to have a drink, hear some music or have a great debate with cool men and women about life, politics, religion or what we love to debate about: Men vs.Women. Staying home is boring. How much reality TV can one watch? How many times can you yell at Kobe without him listening? How many more seasons of American Idol and DWTS can one take with regurgitating on the couch? Our city is desperate need of a urban hangout suite. A place where people can come together without the riff-raft ruining it. We need a Cheers... as place where everybody knows your name and is always glad you came. Or maybe Eddie Murphy can open Ray's Boom-Boom room. I am so tired of having nothing to do. I don't want to go to the movies. I am tired of the same three places that will remain nameless... I wonder if other cities are in the dire straits Los Angeles is in? I remember traveling to Chicago every other week and enjoying Rush Street and enjoying the plethora of bars, lounges, clubs and restaurants. Where is our Rush Street? What happened to the 1970's and 1980's when Crenshaw Blvd. had bars and restaurants left and right? Why is our community so disenfranchised? When are the leaders going to realize we need more than fast food, churches, nail shops and liquor stores in our community. Personally I'm tired of the way things are and I am going to start mobilizing and begin taking action. Something must be done! I am starting a movement! Bring Black LA back to life! We are more than people who drive long distances to spend our money and get treated poorly when we get there! Not sure what I am going to do but this is something that has been on my mind.


PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

If you find something to do.... call me :)  

Rebuttal to 10 Reasons MEN WON'T DATE YOU!

10 Reasons Men Won't Date You LOL

This is a rebuttal to the post I just read and copied. I feel you on some of the points but many of the points are just excuses. If a real woman, encounters a real man, 75% of everything on your list would be void. We all have a past, but we do not have to keep re-living our past. Depending on a person's age, financial status, demographics, educational background, family size and social personality for lack of a better word, these usually dictate where they go and who they know. Just because a woman stays home does not mean she would make a good mate for a man. Some women stay home and sleep with all their friends men while they are out a parties. Some women stay home and smoke weed while their children sleep in the other room. Some women stay home and don't cook, clean, or pay their bills. Some women only go to church activities and are sleeping with all the deacons and choir members. Of course I am only saying this to show that these generalizations you made are just that. I will only speak for myself because at times in my life I have been similar to the women you described and I have always had plenty of dates!

1. Nosy: Information is they key to any decision. Men who do not want to give out information are hiding things. Like their true marital status, true number of kids (even the ones you don't claim), their real address, (not sister/momma house), where they really work (no where) and real car (not the motorcycle) the 1996 Camry. Women over 35 have no time to relax,relate and release. Women are trying to find a mate. The clock is ticking and they need someone to come help pay their mortgage so they can buy some income property!
2. Male Friends: I cannot understand why Black men cannot be platonic. I have MANY friends who I have slept with and MANY friends I have NOT slept with but one thing is for sure, If I say I am not sleeping with someone I am not. I cannot be tricked out of my P! So keeping male friends is good because men are honest with us when we need advice. Girlfriends say what we want to hear. STOP BEING SO INSECURE AND SCARED SOMEONE IS GOING TO SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT, WE ALREADY DO!
3. FAMILY:  A woman who is close to her family will be close to you if you become her family, until then you don't have priority over my family!
4. CLUB RAT: I love this one! Single, pretty, no kids, warm weather, good job, nice car, nice clothes, nice house, hard worker....yeah she going out! Cause MR. Right nor Mr. Wrong is going to knock on HER door. Back in the day, everyone went out to parties on Friday and Saturday night. THEN: Men went with Women! Now we have to go alone, but that is no problem. As long as the Patron and Goose are flowing and BEBE still has fly clothes and shoes women will be out in droves! BUT PLEASE BELIEVE: IF THEY HAD A MAN TO BE AT THE LUX WITH THEY WOULD! NO WOMAN WOULD CHOOSE THE CLUB OVER HER MAN!
5. NICE THUGS DO EXIST! Just like nice hoes exist. I know many men who have the best of both worlds. No woman whats to be with a whimp. No we don't want our ass kicked but we have to know you can and will protect us. PROVIDE and PROTECT! I can cook my ass off, fight like a boxer, dress like Halle Berry, sit down and talk to Donald Trump and Pierce Morgan plus blow ya mind so don't tell me what don't exist!
6. HE TREATED ME BADLY? WOW...U ain't him! You are not in my head like that and I won't let that happen again. If you a nice guy, why were u late three times? Cause you didn't give a fuck...I bet u would not be late to get your homeboy? But you want her to be silent and let you decide what you want to do...NOT this new generation really don't care if you won't date them cause they will date each other....they kicking men out the car, for-real....
7. DUTCH? Where they do that? If you are attempting to date a woman and you cannot not afford dating you should wait. The first year is dates that you pay for....once we are a couple, I cook, you eat...I pay for the food! I suggest we go to Palm Springs...I pay! It's your Birthday, I take you to Tahoe....I pay! If I knew you for less than 90 days my wallet does not open! GOT IT? GOOD
8. Jocks...sounds redundant! no comment and sounds a little haterish!
9. Arguments: I agree on this one! We do need to stop with the yelling! I don't do it. But I have a husband so I guess none of this applies to me anyway. I have been single and I understand what its like to be looking for the right address when none of the buildings are numbered!
10. I deleted one because it was about Facebook stalking and I know damn well no self respecting middle-aged woman would do something so immature!

I am Mrs. Yolanda Davidson-Carter and I approve this message

Proceed With Caution!

What the Hell is Wrong with People?

 
  Every morning I awake to the morning news and most of the time it is shocking. Headlines read: Students shoots classmates, unknown causalities. Mother kills children. Husband kills wife and children. Soldier kills innocent children and civilians and burns them. 5 killed in car crash. I could go on but what is the point? Stress and despair invade people's mind and has them believing that all of this is real and matters. Bills and material things are not what matter in life. What you drive, where you live, where you work and who you are paired up with have no real bearing on your life. Your relationship with God is all that matters! All the things we have are just fillers to keep the mind occupied but these things are not important. We have let society tell us, we need to have 2.5 kids, a home, a career, an education and a 401k plan. Women are under pressure to be 10 million things that have very little to do with womanhood. Be thin, be rich, be a housewife, be a mother, be submissive, be assertive, be independent, be nice, be quiet, NO JUST BE! Young people are literally killing themselves because they do not have what they think they should have. Men are under pressure too. Men are supposed to provide, protect, and produce. Society wants them to be tough, but sensitive, assertive but nice, generous but not a push over. Men are expected to settle down and have a family all the while other women are throwing themselves at them at all times. They have to be strong and not show emotion. But when they show no emotion they are accused of being cold. Life has me so confused I could scream.

  The time has come to get back to where we started from. I grew up with two God fearing parents who taught me morals, values, and overall self-esteem. I have noticed many people lack these qualities. If you have morals there are certain things you will not do. If core values are instilled, you will think before you portray unethical behavior that may ruin your life. When a person has self-esteem they value themselves as well as others. I challenge all who read this post to make a conscious effort to do better. As a society we have to do better, we are becoming the "they" we talk about. The rude, self-centered, crazy, ignorant, selfish, lying, stealing, killing people we read about it in Tweets and Facebook posts. The fools we see on the news at night are us. The only way things can change is if we change. We are the people arguing over dumb shit and making enemies for nothing. We all need to check ourselves and come together because "we are all we got!"
PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

I Still Miss Him...

As my niece, Tiffany and my nephew, Frandon celebrate milestone birthdays I am reminded of another important date, the death of my father. Finniel Davidson died on his favorite grandson's birthday. January 8th, 1988, I was fifteen years old and had no clue what death is, an infinite closed door that can never be opened. I miss him more now than I did as a child. He was very strict and had very high expectations of me which I had no desire to live up to. I could have never stayed on his pedestal so God let me off the hook. He took him so he wouldn't have to witness my growing pains and terrible decisions. He was saved from watching me party my youth away, without ever considering a day like today. As I enter the third quarter of my life, I realize that if I only live as long as my father, I have 17 years left, that is like 17 days. Reading the posts on FB lately hell it might be less than 17 years. (I'm getting side tracked)

  My father was many things. He was raised in the deep south in the 1930's times were extremely hard. He never talked about his pass, but I know enough about history to know that a mixed raced family in the rural south had a hard way to go. He escaped the south and drove to California with his sister in the 1960's. He found love in 1970 and married my mom two months later. Within 17 years he was dead. He had very little education but managed to take care of his family, own his own business, drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. Family was everything to him. If me and my mom were happy, then the world was perfect. I feel sad for women who have never had the adoration of their father. It builds an esteem in you that no man can ever destroy. My dad instilled this arrogance and attitude in me. He told me daily how smart and beautiful I am. I know at times it has been to a fault but I am a better woman for it. The lessons my father taught me angered me as a child. Grabbing switches from a tree to get a whipping would be labeled abuse today but then it was a deterrent from getting in trouble. He taught me my first timetable 6X6=36, he taught me to plant food, he showed me the type of man I wanted and the type I did not want, he taught me how to make pancakes, and he showed me how to make it happen. He had so many sayings, of course I didn't understand then but I do now. I know that his death saved me, I know he has been my guardian angel for all these years. I have been places I had no business, I have seen things I should not have seen and I am still standing. I just wish he could be here to see the woman I am. Sometimes the day passes without me really thinking of it but this year is different. I miss him so much today. I wish he could see my baby, she doesn't have the grandfather experience, I didn't have it either. There are so many questions I didn't ask him, so many things I would tell him......the main thing I want to say is, THANK YOU, DADDY  LOVE YOU! ALL DAYS ALL WAYS

We All Have to Die, but Why?

John Atterberry has broken my silence. My close friends and family know how passionate I am about the people I care for.The tragic and senseless murder of a man I have known well over twenty years, has me angry,confused and hurt. John Atterberry from all accounts was a handsome, intelligent, driven, successful man with a great deal of life to live; when a hopeless and weak young man decided he could not go on with his life destroyed John's life. John proved to himself and his peers that he could survive and strive to be the best. Although he had many personal hurdles he did not allow them to change who he was. He was always jovial. I cannot remember him in a bad mood or without a smile on his face. At times he would get on my nerves playing so much when we were kids. But as a man I was more than impressed with the man he developed into. This is not my eulogy of John, I am getting to a point, sorry. I have mentioned my anger regarding my friends death. I am hurt...not because I do not realize none of us are here permanently, but because I wanted to watch him shine! When people die, they leave us here. They go off to a new adventure and leave us here to pick up the pieces they leave behind. When he rushed out, his bed may not have been made, or his dishes were in the sink someone put them away. He may have working on a project that needs his approval or maybe he started a script. Now all those things cannot be completed by him. Tragedy strikes without rhyme or reason, we can only react after he strikes. Prayer and forgiveness are always on the list of things to do, but we all prayed but none of us received the answer we wanted. God knows best, but it's days like this when my faith is truly tested. This feels like a mistake, what possible good could come from such a senseless and devastating act of cowardice?

Unlike John, the shooter did not have hundreds if not thousands of people who loved and respected him. He had not lived long enough to know that the girl was the first in a long list of people who don't want you when your young but catch the "vapors" when you get your shit together like John did. See the sad thing is when you are young you do a bunch of dumb shit you wish you could take back, but this dummy took my friend's life. Every time I loose someone a piece of me goes with them, a laugh I will never share again or a hug from an old friend. John you are not the first but you are the latest on my list of loved ones I wish could have stayed a little while longer. R.I.P JOHN ATTERBERRY 6/11/71-12/11/11